Getting back on TRACK!! :).......

SOOOOO JESSICA CAN WALK AGAIN!!!!

This is the greatest news I have had in a long time!! I am so blessed to have this cast off and that pin out. YAY!! I am in such a great mood about this. I haven't write on here in a while so I guess its a good thing to wait until I have something happy to write about! :) I am now have a boot on my right foot. It has a platform on it so I have lots of support but it cracks me up because now I am lopsided when I walk! lol. Especially if I dont have a shoe on my left foot. Sometimes I even have to walk on my tip toes on my left foot!! Its quite hilarious to watch I am sure! :) But hey I am ok with it because the crutches are GONE!!!!

I never realized how compassionate the people around me are until I had this injury. I just love how people are so caring and supportive. My momma has been such a great help to me through all of this. She has done so much for me like helped me with chores. She would even carry my plate to the table for me!! I mean how many mothers do you know that would do that?? Not to many I am sure. I am so glad God gave me a mother like her. Also my Best friend was such a big help for me. She would drive me around when I couldn't drive and she would carry things for me and open doors. She would even let me prop my foot up on her leg during church when I needed to elevate it. Now that is what I call LOVE. But they weren't the only people who helped me. My step dad helped me financially, all the girls at work would help me bring my scooter in or hold the door for me, my church family prayed for me and all of my friends were there for me if I ever needed anything. God was really looking out for me and always has known what is in my best interest.




So I have something that I would love for you to pray for me about. The Lord has laid some verses from Joshua on my heart. I am not sure what he is trying to tell me or why I need to "take courage but I feel like he is trying to tell me something. I am not sure if I am just not listening enough or if its just not time for me to know yet but whatever it is I know He sill work it out if I stay in in his will. But I would like to share the verses that I have been studying with you.

Joshua 1:1-9

1.After the death of Moses the servant of the Lord, said to Joshua son of Nun, Moses' aid: 2.Moses my servant is dead. Now then, you and all these people, get ready to cross the Jordan River into the land I am about to give to them- to the Isrealites. 3.I will give you every place where you set your foot, as I promised Moses. 4.Your territory will extend from the desert to lebanon, and from the great river, the Euphrates- all the Hittite country- to the Great Sea on the west. 5.No one will be able to stand up against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you: I will never leave you nor forsake you. 6."Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these peope to inherit the land I swore to their forefathers to give them. 7.Be strong and very courageous, Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it too the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. 8.Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth: meditate o it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. 9.Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous, Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be will be with you wherever you go.

Oh finally.......

SO guess what!?!?!?!?!

I am excited about going to M-Fuge this summer!!! I haven't gone in TWO years. The first year I went to New York City at the same time my church was going to M-Fuge. And then the next year I had to stay here and go to school. :( But hey I get to go this year!!! Oh and all my best friends are going! I am also going as a chaperon so I will have my little middle schoolers and high schoolers to take care of. I can't wait to "do stuff" for Jesus also. I mean idk what he has in store for me that week but I am going to be ready. I hope I will be able to follow his plan for me!



OH I just wanted to tell you guys about two of my best friends. Miss Katlin Nicole Wright and Miss Katie Elizabeth Downs. Aren't they just the most beautiful best friends ever!!! They went to prom the other night. That is why they look so dolled up in this picture. I dont know what I would do with out these girls! they are my favorites ever. God really knew what he was doing when he sent me these friends. I mean they know how to make me laugh when I desperately need to and they also know how to make me smile when I am feeling down. I always have fun with them. Even if its just riding around rutherfordton county until all hours of the night talking and laughing. :) I just thought I would share that. I dont have much else to say right now cause I am very sleepy. But I promise to post something much better later on.

Quite Full.......

Wisdom - finding out what you need to do and DO IT!
I heard this on a livefeed I was watching from a Children's conference or something like that. I thought it was neat and also Fantastical advise.

Ephesians 5:15-20
Be very careful, then, how you live-not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is. Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Holy Spirit. Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, always give thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

I'm really starting to LOVE Ephesians.

And so that is about all I have for today and yesterday. I am very full of emotions right now and I cant seem to find words. But I will be back ASAP.

Lots of thoughts.....

Hi guys,
I have a lot of thoughts today. I dont know why because I just posted on here last night but oh well. I guess if its to much no one will read it which is Oh Kay. I dont want anyone to read it that doesn't want to anyways.....wow got off topic alittle.....Anyways.

I woke up this morning with the phrase "good things come to those who wait". Strange?? I mean I didn't really know what I am waiting on. So I thought about it and I actually am waiting on some things. Here is my list.
*I'm waiting to walk again.
*I'm waiting to go take my state boards.
*I'm waiting on the summertime!
*I'm waiting on my clientele to build up.
*I'm waiting on my husband.
*I'm waiting on God to use me.
*I'm waiting on peace.

This is all I could think of at the moment but I am sure there is more. Most of these things I can't do anything about. I mean I have to wait on my foot to heal before I will be able to walk. I can't just pick a random guy and say he is my husband, I have to wait on God to put us together and wait on his timing. I CAN do things to help build up my clientele but I can't just wave my magic wand and have my book filled up. Although that would be super cool!!! But over all in life we just have to wait. No matter how much we might not want to. And I think God also wants us to wait joyfully(my problemo) and not try to do it ourselves.

Well I have been trying to listen only to "positive and encouraging" music lately. I have been doing really good about it to. I actually change the station yesterday when one of my all time favorite rap songs came on! It was bedrock and I really dont think that is the kind of song that will bring me closer to Daddy lol. I am struggling a little bit but I am actually listening to Natalie Grant right now. I want to share with you one of my most favorite songs of hers.

Safe

How did you know that I’m alone today
Oh I feel so scared and I wanna go away
I bleed so deep underneath
My soul is screaming

I’m not gonna hide
I’m not gonna run away
I’ll uncover the scars and show you every mistake
Your love is mending my blisters and bruising shame
Here with you
I am safe

Drown in the tears wont make it go away
Its robbing my soul so im taking this mask off my face, yea
To discover love and uncover all it means to live and breathe

I’m not gonna hide
I’m not gonna run away
I’ll uncover the scars and show you every mistake
You’re love is mending my blisters and the bruising shame
Here with you

I am safe
I am safe
I am safe
I am safe

When you uncover I discover
I am not afraid
But when were hiding
We end up fighting
To be, safe
Yea

I’m not gonna hide
I’m not gonna run away
I’ll uncover the scares and show you every mistake
Your love is mending my blisters and my bruising shame
Here with you I am safe
I am safe
I am safe
I am safe
I am safe
I am safe

This song just makes me feel powerful and wellllllll just SAFE.

I was talking to a friend today and he reminded me of 1 John 4:1-21. This passage talks about how we are suppose to be filled with Gods love to show Gods love so that others come to Gods love. I really think that s Christians this is how we are suppose to live every day of our lives, filled with Gods love. This means we cant love the world. Even though we must be in the world we must not be of the world. We must not "conform to the ways of the world". We are suppose to be different so that people notice us and want what we have which is Jesus. This is how we are suppose to be a walking, talking, breathing witness for Christ no matter where we are or what we are doing. Sorry I just felt like I needed to get that out.

Ok so I went to a near by churches revival tonight and I had a blast! I mean really I had a great time. I felt the Holy spirit just feeling the place up. The preacher was terrifical and the people were very receptive. I think I'm going to go back tomorrow.

Oh yeahhhh I forgot to tell ya'll the driving update. I have mastered driving with my left foot!!! yes its a little awkward and probly looks incredibly funny but it means I can take myself where I need to go. I never realized how much I love driving. I mean ever since I got my license I have drove around whenever I felt overwhelmed or upset. I haven't been able to do that for three weeks now and its been driving me crazy! So now I have a little taste of my freedom back! yay me! haha.

So now I am sitting here eating caramel pie, drinking sweet tea, watching Glee while Alice Bell runs around playing with her ball. And you wanna know something fantabulous??/............wait for it..........I AM HAPPY!
I haven't felt this way in a while so I am really excited about it so ya'll get to know about it. :)
Love ya to the stars and back,
*a*beautiful*mess*

A day in the life of a Crippled Christian :)

I went back to work today!! I am going to try to learn how to start driving with my left foot tomorrow!! I got a new Bible with my name on it. I have had many Bibles but never one with my name on it!! I am doing pretty good with my "Being Positive" thing. I have been a little down today for some odd reason but I prayed about it and asked others to pray for me and I am starting to feel better. I think the devil is trying to attack me because I am starting to get right with my heavenly daddy. I know I just have to rebuke him in the name of the Lord and he will flee my presence but sometimes I just dont think about it. Sometimes I get so wrapped up in my own depression and sorrows and I dont think about what my focus should be on like Gods plan for me and well just God in general. I have problems of course(who doesn't?) but nothing should be more important that it takes my focus off of Jesus. Well I have a few pictures and doodads to share with ya'll today sooooo let me stop rambling and tell you about them!



This is me with my glasses! I dont usually where them in pictures but I had them on today because I was reading and I just thought I would share with ya'll one of my many imperfections. My eyes aren't terrible but they also aren't 20/20. I am trying to learn how to embrace my imperfections no matter how trivial they may be. God made me perfectly and wonderfully in his eyes. It shouldn't matter what I think of myself or what others think of my outward appearance or my flaws. It only matters what God can do with me and how he views me. As a girl I have my insecurities with my body and my hair and my skin and such but I really shouldn't worry about these things. God has already told me, in his word that I am perfect.



This Is my collection of new Matthew West CD's!!! I was overly excited that my mother got these for me at the Ewomen conference!!! she got me a hat also but I forgoted to take a picture of said hat. :(



This is my new true identity Bible!!(with my name!) I am planning on it being use lots so I thought I would take a photo to preserve the memory of its newness!



OK, So now I will introduce ya'll to SCOOTIE!!!!!! He is my new friend. He is very helpful at work. He rolls me around the shop like it is his job or something and lets me rest my knee upon him at any give time. He is a true friend!



This is ME!! lol I just loved my outfit today and thought it was adorable so I took a picture of it! I know I am a little bit odd but it isn't very often that I feel CUTE! so I like to document!



And this is my reading material for the day....well maybe for the next few days lol. but the first book is my sunday school book. I have missed a few lessons so I am trying to catch up. I wasn't there for three sundays in a row. The first one was because I was cleaning up from Easter breakfast. the second was because I couldn't go down the stairs because of my foot. The third was because I went to see my sister in TN. But this past week I braved the stairs and made sure I mad it to sunday school! yay me! lol But anyways the next book is my new Bible which I have already mentioned. I am making a goal to read it everyday. I have be sadly slacking on my Bible reading so I am determined to make it a habit. The last book is the Last Song. Oh how I love this book and oh how I love nicholas sparks. I am drawn into this book I mean I could barely put it down to write this or eat supper. lol I will probly finish it soon though. :( but then I am going to start on Dear John. I never got a chance to see in when it was in theaters but I hope to rent it when it comes out. The same thing applies to The last song.

Well I do believe I am going to sign off for today and get to some of my reading material then maybe take a bath...which sounds pretty good right about now.....OK so I will leave you for today but dont miss me to much because am sure to be back soon. haha ;)
love ya to the stars and back,
*a*beautiful*mess*



P.S. ha I just realized I could put a label on my posts! this is really quite awsorifical to me so I thought I would share it with you.

Back on the path...

So I went the the Women of faith conference this week end. The theme this year was EMBRACING POWERFUL PEACE. I thought this was a a great theme for women in general but especially me. I Said in a previous entry that I have been struggling with my relationship with God. Well I dont feel like I am struggling anymore. I mean I have a long way to go but now I can feel him with me helping and guiding me through this crazy life.



So I have a new goal and I covet your prayers about this. I have a very negative attitude which does not help my Christian witness at all. I have been convicted that I need to be more positive. I also need to get rid of my bitterness. I think that if I only think positive thoughts, say positive words and do positive things then I will be a much a happier person. God wants us all to be happy and the only way we will be is to be in Gods will. So this is my goal. To be totally and completely positive. I am going to go over the top with positivity!! I want to please my heavenly daddy with my life and I think this is a start.





I also have a problem weighing on my heart. It has been on my mind a lot lately and I am afraid its might bring me down. I am going to have strength to keep me grounded and positive. I hope that you all will pray for me. Please Pray that God will give me direction on this matter and peace in my heart.



I am really on a Jesus high right now. I went and spent two days surrounded my Christian women, listening to Christian speakers and just filled with Christ. I came back and went to sunday school and church this morning and I am going back to church in a little while. I know that this Jesus high wont last forever but I hope that if I pray read my Bible and truly want to be a better Christian I will be the Christian God wants me to be all the time.



So I actually wrote all the above earlier today and now I have all ready lost that Jesus high. I know that was superduper fast right. I'm not sure why or how it happened but it did and now I am at a all time lowwwww. I had to deal with a few things tonight that I though I was prepared for but apparently I wasn't. I honestly dont know when I will be if ever but I do know that I will learn to handle it better and I will grow stronger if I lean on Jesus and not on myself.

Do you ever just have those times that you feel like the devil is just attacking you from all angles?? That is how I feel right now. I really believe its because I am starting to get right with the Lord. I mean the devil wants as many as he can to be on his side and not God's side. So that means when ever one of God's children is starting to get closer and closer to the Father that is when the devil will attack full force. When things like this start to happen I just have to think positive and trust that the Lord is going to guide me and love me through it all as long as I trust him. I am sorry that this entry has been a little bipolar but I warned you from the beginning that it would be. I should sign off for now but I want to leave you with this song. It is very encouraging to me and I hope it will be to you.

All The Broken Pieces
By: Matthew West

Did you feel, feel it break
From all the weight of your mistake?
You never knew how much it cost
Feels like your innocence is lost

So much for the perfect life
So much for the perfect day
It’s like no matter how you try
Perfection’s just too far away

So lift them up to me
All the broken pieces
All the broken pieces of you life

To Me
All the broken pieces
All the broken pieces of you life

Did you hear what I said?
Did you read the words I wrote down in red?
I was broken once for you
And no one loves you like I do

And this the beauty of this grace
It can put the pieces back in place
And shine reflections of forgiveness
In a million different ways

So lift them up to Me
All the broken pieces
All the broken pieces of your life

To Me
All the broken pieces
All the broken pieces of your life

Cause’ I can take even your greatest mistake
Every scar, every tear, every break
And I can turn it into something
More beautiful than you have ever seen

All your broken piece
I’ll put them back together, yeah
Are you broken, are you broken?

Just lift them up to me
All the broken pieces
Give all the broken pieces of you life

Lift them up to Me
Let Me carry you
I will take your pieces and put them back together

Truly Yours,
*a*beautiful*mess*

A day to ponder.....

The mother



The bestest friend



The co-worker



Hi!
I have posted a few pictures of my beautiful cast!! lol. I surely wont be missed with this hot pink foot attachment.So as I said in my last blog how I broke my foot. Well this has limited my traveling abilities to say the very least. haha. Well I have been spending a extreme amount of time at home. I am starting to go a little stir crazy actually. See I am a very active person and I am usually driving around all the time and having broken my right foot has prevented me from driving anywhere. I was actually very depressed about this hole situation to start with but after a while I thought about it and decided I must stay positive. Who knows this little problem could turn out to be a blessing. I can already think of a few ways its been a blessing.

*I have started to blog! because I actually have time to.

*I have gotten to spend more time with my mother therefore our relationship has gotten stronger.

*I am having a much needed break from the stress of well....everything that requires moving haha.

*I am more focused on Gods plan for me.

*I have a more positive outlook on life in a general context.

So I would say that over all this little "accident" has become a blessing. I mean I am sure I will still have my moments maybe even days where I will feel down. But its all about my perspective. If I think positive thoughts then I will in return have positive feelings. I didn't think it would work when I first started this new THEORY but I figured it was worth a try. What could it hurt?? I think I have learned a very important life lesson through this.
Hey maybe I really am growing up???
Yeah that is probably just wishful thinking because now I have this overwhelming urge to go to the park and swing(one of my most favorite thins to do)! I dont know though maybe its a start of the growing up process. I guess I will just have to keep a check on it. :)

So the next thing I would like to tell you about is what I am doing this week end. I am going to a woman's conference called EXTRAORDINARY WOMEN. I am very excited about this trip. For one thing I get to listen to Christian music and christian speakers for two days and I also get to spend time with some of my favorite women in the whole wide world!! I would like to introduce you to a few of them. There pictures are at the top of the page in order of how introduction.

First is The mother aka Sharon Elizabeth Greene
I love my mommy!!!! haha I really do but I also admire her strength and courage. She has had lots of struggles in her life and she has made it through them all with a smile on her face and Gods love in her heart. I know I dont show it sometimes....well ok hardly ever but she is one of my heroes and I would be lost with out her.

OK now that I have shed a tear let me move on.

Second is my Katlin aka bestest friend ever aka Katlin Nicole Wright
I love my katlin!!!! She and I have been best friends since I was in seventh grade and she was in fifth. We instantly clicked. I feel like she knows me better than I know my self most of the time. She puts up with all my drama and grouchiness. If you looked up the word bestest friend in ole' Mr. Websters you would find her picture and name! ok well maybe not but it should be there! She is my therapist, nurse, driver, and so much more. I just hope that one day I will be able to pay her back just a tiny bit of what all she has done for me.

Third is Miss Laurie aka Laurie Biggerstaff
I love Miss Laurie! She is my work mentor and also my accountability when it comes to work. I know she will always be there for me at work or any other time I might need her. I also teach a team kids class with her and she is such a great help with those kids. I am so blessed to have her in my life.

So Know you know what all is going on. Its probly time for me to sign off for now.
yours truly
a*beautiful*mess*

Lets Start........

Hi! This is my first Blog entry EVER! So that means I am very new at this. I am really only doing this because I really want to get my feeling out about things and this seemed like a good idea. :) So I am going to try to get the hang of this eventually. Let me say a little bit about myself. My name is Jessica and I am eighteen years old. I was born on December 11, 1991. I have one little blood sister and one little step sister and two step brothers. I have a mommy and a step dad that I live with. I also have three dogs and a kitty cat. One very important part of my life is my faith in Jesus Christ. I have had lots of struggles with my faith and I still do but I am growing as a Christian and I plan on keeping that up. I feel like God is my daddy now. You see my biological father left me and I have no relationship with him anymore so God has really filled that void in my life. Sometimes like all wayward children I stray and fall off the path he has set for me but through it all I love my heavenly daddy and know that he wants whats best for me. there are so many things that I wanna share about my life and struggles and heartbreaks and happiness but I know it will take a good bit off time for me to get it all out. I am going to start out slowly and I am sure it will but a little bit random and erratic but hopefull I will get my point across and maybe help some one out with my words. I am not sure if I will make a difference in anyones life by what I say on here but through God anything is possible right??
So alittle more about Jessica
She loves~~~~*Candy
*sparkles
*Dr. Pepper
*frogs
*Movies
*music
*Sweet little things
*clothes
*Random Moments
*dancing
*Converse
*writing
*friends
*colors
*long meaningful conversations
*sweets
*watermelon
*sunshine
*thunder and lightening
*night time skys
*french fries
*being outside
*hugs

She doesn't love~~~~*being alone
*sauce
*winter
*broken bones
*lies
*being cold
*dark windows
*lakes
*clowns
*boredness
*doing laundry
Believe it or not I actually have a job. I work as a hairdresser at Impressions by Phyllis. I absolutely love doing hair! I couldn't ask for a more perfect job for me. I was doing really well with business up until two weeks ago. I actually broke my foot in a dune-buggy crash and haven't been able to work since then. I fractured two bones clean threw and one bone broke angular so I had to have a pin put in. I will be in a cast for at least six more weeks but hopefully I will be able to work in a week or so. I also am going to be working as the worship leader for my churches youth group start in May. Oh and I think I will be singing in the band but I am not entirely sure on that part.

So about my relationship with God......Well this is what I feel I need to talk about. I am not where I should be with the lord at all right now but I feel like I truly have a desire in my heart to grow closer to him and to do his work in my life. I have many troubles and heart aches in my life right now and I hope to share them all with you eventually. Right now I just want to focus on getting my relationship right with the Lord, my heavenly daddy, and then I cant start to work on the other aspects of my life. I want to vow right now that I will put forth my best and trust effort to fix my relationship with my savior and to get back into his will for my life. I hope that I will have many prayers and support to help me with this process. because I know I will be unable to do it on my own no matter how hard I may try. So I know this first entry is a little length and poorly written but its what I have to share right now. Hopefully I will share more tomorrow or the next day and it will be in better context. signing off for now.
yours truly
*A*beautiful*Mess*